| What would have been different if Bill Gates was a redneck... |
| 1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders 2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle 3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a hefty bag 4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of Ahh-ight or Naaaaa 5. Instead of ta-da the opening sound would be dueling banjos 6. The Recycle Bin in Winders'95 would be an outhouse 7. Whenever you pulled up the sound player you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling Freebird! 8. Instead of Start Me Up the Winders'95 theme song would be Achy-Braky Heart 9. PowerPoint would be named ParPawnt 10. Microsoft's programming tools would be Vishul Basic and Bishul C++ 11. Winders'95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag 12. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word 13. Instead of latte carts we'd have grits carts 14. New Shutdown wav: Y'all come back now, Yah hear? 15. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz" 16. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans-Am 17. Microsoft Office replaced with Micrasawft Henhouse 18. Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver 19. Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire 20. Speadsheet software would include examples in inventory dead cars in your front yard 21. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor Pull Simulator 22. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates 23. Instead of asking "where do you want to go today? it's more like Hey mister, can I ketch a ridein the back? 24. Free eraser to erase the scribbble marks off the screen when using the NotePad |
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